Dynamics of a High School Relationship


Lauren Obenauer, Staff

Relationships are difficult, whether you and your partner have been together for 7 months or 7 years your relationship with that person is constantly evolving and changing. However, highschool relationships seem to have the biggest impact on people even later on in life. Upon interviewing local Farmington high school students, I have learned a lot about how many high school relationships work and what they believe it takes to maintain a healthy relationship.

Starting with the newly formed relationships, many of them said that they met at school during class or just by simply getting their significant others snap chat. The feelings seemed to begin developing because of common interests, morals, beliefs, and religion. Although many of them haven’t had many struggles so far in their relationship they say that they sometimes care too much about each other and it can be too overbearing. 

Lilly Combs and Parker Skaggs

As for long-distance relationships, Lilly Combs and her current boyfriend, Parker Skaggs, overcome a sometimes challenging 40-minute drive just to see each other. Since Parker goes to Valle high school in Ste Genevieve, Lilly and he have to balance out their very busy schedules in order to see each other. Lilly and Parker have built their relationship on trust and honesty and Lilly says that “( the distance) has probably made us stronger since we don’t get to see each other as often as most people do.”

Couples that have been together for longer periods of time, such as Melissa Miller and her current boyfriend Ben Smith, seem to have a different perspective than the other couples. Melissa says that “(To maintain a healthy relationship) it is important to understand what each other wants, like if I want something different than him I understand that we will probably never agree because we are just like that, but you just have to accept it and understand that not everyone’s going to be the exact same as you in the relationship and that’s what makes it interesting.”

Many newly formed couples seemed to not compare their relationship as much as couples that have been together for a longer period of time. Whether that is because those students are still in the “honeymoon” phase of their relationship or because they haven’t been together long enough to feel that they need to compare their relationship one will never know. Upon interviewing junior, Savanah Knight, on the subject of comparison within a relationship said: “I don’t feel the need to compare our relationship because I know that every relationship is different.”

Savannah Knight and Justin Thomas

However, all couples seem to agree that the best way to handle conflict within a relationship is to communicate with one another. Upon interviewing a couple that is no longer together, they both agreed that miscommunication was the biggest issue within their relationship. They both agreed that had there been clearer communication things may have turned out differently. Austin Atnip, a senior at FHS, says that in order to maintain a healthy relationship one should “Just stay as open as possible, do not hide things from one another, don’t hide actions or what you are thinking from one another, and consider the person in everything that you do.”

The breakup is the hardest part of any relationship. You go through many phases in order to get over your significant other and it can be very overwhelming. You may not want to ever go out again or trust anyone for as long as you live, but those feelings of hurt and anguish will eventually fade and eventually be replaced with a sense of peace. However when asking what the hardest part of getting over their significant other is Austin Atnip paused for a moment and drew a heavy breath before responding with “ At first it was the reality that I am more alone than I ever have been, this past summer, but I would say the feeling of not being close to that person and knowing that they have moved on, and especially the final realization that it’s never going to happen again with that person… that’s the hardest part.”

In the end, do relationships in high school work out in the long run? There are varying opinions about whether high school relationships are doomed from the start or if they can work. So I asked every couple whether or not they believed high school relationships could work out in the long run. All couples agreed that it is possible, but it requires a lot of hard work and effort by both people in the relationship. Many couples break up when they go off to college but Melissa Miller says that “I think couples should try the whole long-distance thing first because you never know (if it will work) until you are actually in one.” She also points out that “You have put so much energy and time into that one person and then to just cut it off it seems to me that (the relationship) didn’t ever mean anything if you can cut it off that easily.” 

Relationships are extremely complex, but for the right person, they are worth all of it. It doesn’t matter if your significant other is 200 miles away, 20 minutes away, or 2 seconds away; if they are worth your time and energy then fight for what you have in your relationship. If it is meant to work out in the long run then it will, but if it’s not meant to be then don’t force it. You don’t have to be in a relationship to be valued, focus on yourself and your goals and worry about your relationship status later. However, if you do choose to get into a relationship in high school don’t take it too seriously. That one person that may or may not ask you out won’t determine your future; you are the only one that controls your future.